This Is Iowa: An Iowa woman’s surprising connection to her kidney donor

When Debbie Kooker received a new kidney, she had no idea who the donor was or how they might be connected.When Kooker got a call a year ago that her blood work showed her kidneys were failing, her emotions overflowed.“It was devastating,” Kooker said. “Joe and I had been married a year, excuse me, and I found happiness, you know.”The Monroe Bank employee with a big family and bigger smile was suddenly overwhelmed with dialysis — fear.“Yeah, it was scary,” Kooker said.And the reality that she needed a new kidney. But she didn't want to ask.“I never really wanted to hurt anybody because of me,” she said.Everyone close to her tested. No one was a match, until Debbie's phone rang again in December."It was extremely emotional,” Kooker said. “Lots of tears, lots of praising God on that.”At that point, Kooker knew nothing about her donor.She didn't even know who it was when on Jan. 23, she rolled into surgery and closed her eyes.“I was a nervous wreck,” she said.As soon as her eyes opened?“My first question was, 'how is my donor?' That was the first thing I asked because I needed to make sure that they were okay,” Kooker said.Even then, she didn't know that her donor knew her.“Like, she cares about people more than herself,” said Kara Wallace, the donor. “She cares about others with her whole heart.”Kara Wallace is only 20 years old. Her family has been close to Kooker's family for decades. And Wallace knew Kooker so well that she knew her gift had to be top secret.“Because I know Miss Debbie and she wouldn't let me go through with it, or she would talk me out of it,” Wallace said. “She would do everything in her power so that I wouldn't have to go through that.”Pulling off the surprise was difficult, said Angie Mortorelli, transplant coordinator.Everyone in the hospital was on edge.“You've got two surgeries, you've got a donor, you've got a recipient,” said Mortorelli. “This hospital is big, but it is not that big. When you're trying to hide a person, it is not that big.”So during surgery, they kept the families, who are friends, apart.“We were even coordinating walking in the hallways because we didn't want them to walk in the hallways at the same time,” Mortorelli said. “If they walked in the hallways together, that was it. They would have known.”But the next day, when it was too late to cancel, that door crept open. And for the first time, Kooker saw the 20-year-old she knew had given her – life.“Come here, sunshine. My sweet girl. I can't believe. Oh honey,” said Kooker. “Never in a million years. Never. I would have guessed 500 times. And that sweet girl would never have come to mind just because she's so young.”On a morning when scars were still fresh, everyone in the room felt the love.“There's tears everywhere,” said Mortorelli.A few weeks later, the reveal caught on camera was still the buzz around Iowa Methodist Medical Center. Doctors were still talking about it.“I cried a lot,” Mortorelli said. “It was very emotional.”Wallace knew she'd go through pain so intense, they couldn't hug. But she did this anyway.“I can't believe you did this for me,” Kooker said. “Thank you so much.”“She's just such a sweet woman, and she's always so kind and generous,” Wallace said.Giving the ultimate gift.“She gave me my life,” Kooker said. “You know, she's so selfless and just so generous and just an amazing human being.”You can view more This Is Iowa stories here.